my first post in weeks, but first a little background. the truth is i didn’t publish this post when i finished it on tuesday due to the passing of amendment one in north carolina that same night.  i didn’t feel right frivolously talking about weddings, when an entire segment of our community was in mourning over this legislation that would deny them access to the institution of marriage.  so, i wrote this post instead, a reaction to this controversial vote.  it’s taken me a few days to work up the nerve, but i’m publishing them both: the bitter and the sweet… isn’t life full of irony? nevertheless, i’m glad to be back.

a couple of weeks ago my hubby’s cousin got married in new jersey. the wedding was absolutely fabulous. the bride and her mom did a wonderful job planning every detail. the venue was gorgeous, the staff was impeccable, the signature cocktails were delish, the food was amazing, the music was nostalgic and, the centerpieces were impressive (hydrangeas, my favorites). most importantly, the beautiful couple beamed with joy. the only problem was no one warned them that they might not have as much fun as their guests. there was so much required of the couple, from taking tons of photos, to making their rounds to guests, that they got very little time to just cut loose and have fun. they didn’t even get to indulge in any of the food that i’m sure was meticulously selected. but i think this is pretty typical of weddings…

attending the wedding got me reminiscing about the planning of my own big day. as a twenty-five year old bride, i wanted every detail to be perfect. back then there was no pinterest, so in typical me-fashion i bought every bridal magazine i could find. my favorites were definitely martha stewart weddings, and i had visions of my images gracing those pages.  alas, i never submitted the photos anywhere, but i really unleashed my inner-designer upon my wedding.  no detail was overlooked…except for one:  we had ourselves on such a tight timeline, that we didn’t schedule in having fun and just cutting loose.  just as was the case with my favorite newlyweds, we (meaning i–hubby just wanted to shuck it all and have fun) were so consumed with executing every detail with royal-wedding (well, i was marrying a knight), that i found myself stressed out and kind of negative-nelly-ish.

to this date, people tell us that some of the best wedding cake they’ve ever had was at our wedding.  i wouldn’t know.  i only recall that moment of wondering if my groom would smash the cake on my face (he didn’t). they also say the food was amazing.  i wouldn’t know.  i do recall the tasting that took place prior to the wedding, and describing that we wanted the green beans to be more southern-style (we were in ohio). in short, we’ve been told that our guests had a wonderful time at our fabulous wedding.  if only the bride and groom could experience it from the same POV as the guests.

even still, i would totally plan another wedding in a heartbeat! i’ve even started a pinterest board called i do, maybe we’ll renew our vows in this way someday. but if i could go back and give my 25 year-old self (or any other bride reading this) some advice it would be:

1) choose timeless details and, of course, have a timeline, but don’t sweat the small stuff.  some of the best moments can’t be scripted.

2) take the pictures… i swore i didn’t want the stand and pose formals, but my photographer insisted and now that both my paternal grandparents have passed away, i’m so happy to have those pics).  and besides, this is probably the most gorgeous you’ll ever look.

3) get the dancing started as soon as possible. people want to party!

4) visit with your guests who aren’t on the dance floor, but still leave time to cha-cha slide, wobble, electric slide and shake your rump.

5) and most importantly, have fun! you want to look back on this day without regret.  hopefully, you only get to do it once.

i’ll leave you with a two brides who weren’t afraid to let their hair down and seize the day. enjoy these selections from youTube.  (i know you’ve seen them, but they’re so fun…watch them again!)