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i interrupt my musings on city life and country life and island life to bring you a post on everyday life.  specifically, i’m hear to talk to ya about laundry…yep laundry!  i’ve been wanting to do a laundry post for a while.  i love that nostalgia of laundry hanging on a line and i love a great laundry room.  yet, i have a bit of a love/hate relationship with this domestic chore.  i was prompted to write this by two recent events.  the first was during a visit to nantucket with my best friend.  while we were there, we got to hang out with her niece, whom i have known for sixteen years and who is now 18 and heading off to college in a few short weeks.  somehow, the subject of laundry came up and she declared that she didn’t know how to do laundry, to which my friend replied that she didn’t either upon leaving for college.  we proceeded to lightly discuss this topic, but of course, it got me thinking.  then yesterday, while doing laundry at my mother-in-law’s house, i had my eleven year old daughter assist me a bit.  we had the following conversation:

k:   this smell {of downy} reminds me of those sundays when you’d make us clean and i’d do my own laundry.   

me:  hmmm. you haven’t had to do that in a while.

k:  yeah, since olga’s been doing it. (pause) i’m not going to

do laundry when i get older.  

me:  really? who’s going to do it for you?

k:  olga.  or do you think she’ll be too old by that time?

me:  (laughing) well, you better work hard so you can have enough money to afford someone like olga to do your laundry for you.

k:  or my husband can just pay for it…

me:  oh my goodness, girl! just fold the laundry!

uh oh! i’ve got some explaining to do!  i remember doing laundry with my mom as a kid.  by the time i left for college, i could do it for myself and remember hauling it down to the dingy laundry room of my freshman dorm, so that i could have clean clothes to wear.  yes, i have paid my laundry dues and these kids need to know it.  now, in my charmed adult life, though i aim to be a Proverbs 31 woman, i must confess i have sometimes chosen to have the luxury of a nanny or housekeeper to assist me in keeping up with my domestic responsibilities.  i know this has also been the case with my friend and her niece. their moms always had help, so perhaps they didn’t have to bother with chores.  i’m not judging, but i believe there is true merit in being able to do these things for oneself–be you male or female.  and, i was shocked that i have not yet managed to convey this fact to my own children.  we don’t know where our lives will take us and a laundress or housekeeper is not a guaranteed part of our future.  we can’t take these luxuries for granted!  an intervention is definitely necessary.  don’t get me wrong, all 3 of my kids know how to do laundry, to varying degrees, even my seven year-old son.  i just want them to understand the importance of self-reliance. (honey, this does not mean getting rid of my help, i’ve already learned this lesson…)

trust me, i understand not enjoying the task of laundry.  i’ve already said i have a love/hate relationship, remember? on the one hand, i love clothes.  i have lots of clothes.  those clothes get dirty and need to be laundered.  also, i’m a wife and mom and this role usually involves making sure my family has clean clothes to wear.  i also love the scent of fresh laundry (especially downy…hmmmmm– i know it’s not all-natural, but that is such a good fragrance!).  what i don’t like is that doing laundry is very time-consuming and has soooo many steps: sort, wash individual load, transfer to dryer, fold, distribute, put away, repeat! this is really the case when you let it accumulate, which i have done and do not recommend.

nevertheless, it is something that we all have to do at some point in our lives (i guess unless we’re royal or insanely wealthy), a fact that we should convey to our children whether we have the luxury of help or not.  i read once that first lady, michelle obama, makes her children do chores.  they live in the white house, where they could have their every whim catered to, and yet she underscores the importance of knowing how to do for yourself and of not being too spoiled, by making the girls do some things on their own.  we should all take a page from her book on this.

i will say, again, that this philosophy does not just apply to girls.  my husband came to me knowing how to do laundry (thank you, mama knight) and i’ll prepare my son the same way.  because, just as i don’t want my girls assuming their husbands will help them afford certain luxuries, i also don’t want my son thinking “ah! my wife will just do that for me.”

i came across a charming tumblr today called modern girls & old-fashioned men and somehow the title brought this all home for me.  please indulge me, while i remove my feminist cap for a moment.  of course we want to raise modern daughters, in the sense that they believe there is no limit to what they can achieve.  we want them to know that their gender no longer creates a glass ceiling and that they can be strong and independent and successful in any career.  but this doesn’t mean not teaching them domestic skills.  truth is, some of them could shuck all of that independent ideology someday and marry an old-fashioned prince charming.  and sorry girls…that man is going to want some fresh undies. ironically, the fact that you aren’t all prissy about it, may just be the reason he chooses you, spoils you rotten, buys you a dream house at the vineyard and gets you your olga. 

inspired to get laundering? check out martha stewart’s tips or go ask your mom, even if she has “help” i’m sure she knows how to do it.

photos from pinterest.